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Lodging Update March 31, 2020

By Wm, May
Published: 03/31/20 Topics: Covid-19 Virus Comments: 1

No, it is not over. No, we cannot predict when it will be over. No, we don't really know if it will be over.

But in fact, we do. This too shall pass. It is terrible and tragic, but it is also telling. That humanity rises to the occasion. Acts of kindness erupt. Humans settle in, put up, and get through it.

That is not much comfort until things begin to recover, but we must keep it in mind. This is not the end of the world, it's not the end of the economy and it's not the even the end of life as we know it.

Not long ago, on the 75th anniversary of the invasion of Iwo Jima, CBS television ran a promotional ad that said:

"Your grandfathers were ordered to Iwo Jima

You've been ordered to your couch.

Surely you can do this."

You can now save the entire human race by doing nothing. Don't screw it up. But remember, if you run out of toilet paper, life is rough.

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STEREOTYPE: Every good disaster movie starts with governments ignoring scientists.

A GOOD DAY: You work in a bank when 2 guys come in wearing masks and you are relieved they are only there to rob you.

SPOUSE: Found a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently she is my wife. Seems nice.

FOOD: Went to a new restaurant called "The Kitchen." No clue how this place stays in business.

CHILDREN: Although there is no school, I still wake my kids at 6AM. Revenge is sweet.

COMEDIAN: My day job assigned me to work from home. No problem, I didn't like any of those people anyway.

PHONE: On a conference call someone's dog started barking, then everyone's dog started barking, so the host had to hit global mute. Best conference call ever.

HOME: My dad and I are sharing the kitchen table to work. He is an aerospace engineer designing a new wing prototype. I am drawing a duck.

HYGIENE: I washed my hands so much, that my exam notes from 1975 reappeared on my palm.

INDUSTRY: When told that consumers were hoarding toilet paper due to the Covid-19 virus, the chairman of Charmin said, "I do not see the problem."

FAMILY: Having my children at home has helped me tolerate the isolation. My wine cellar has helped me tolerate my children.

HUMANS: There are two types of people in the world. Those who stock up on toilet paper and those who stock up on beer. Come on now, you know who you are.

HOARDING: If you need 100 rolls of toilet paper to survive a 14-day quarantine, you probably needed to see a doctor way before this virus thing.

SHOPPING: They said that a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket. They lied, everyone else has clothes on.

TOUCH: If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you will not be able to touch your face.

DOGS: My dog said, "Oh My god, you're here all day. This is the best. I can love you, see you, be with you and follow you! I love you being here so much!" My cat said: "What the hell are you still doing here?"

SMART: The science community has figured out that the spread of Coronavirus is based solely on two things. 1. How dense the population is. 2. How dense the population is.

If you don't find any of these jokes funny, we apologize. Too soon?

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Author: Wm, May, Vortex Managers
Blog #: 0749 – 03/31/20
Sponsor: Vortex Organization – We train quality people to help run unique Inns, Resorts and Vacation Rental Management companies, in an industry that has been a webby net of technology combined with good old fashioned property, guest and owner services. – VortexManagers.com

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